365 days of vacation

The Winter issue of Blue Mountain Journal is here and the topic is Detachment.

Easwaran writes:

Detachment not only releases joy; it is also the secret of health. It is the best medical insurance in the world, and not only because it can keep us free from physical habits that sap our vitality. Most illness has a serious emotional element. While there is an important place for physical measures in the treatment of disease, a mind at peace and a heart flooded with love can release healing powers that strengthen and revitalize the physical system. Strength can be regained even after years of emotional instability. In extreme cases, I believe, recovery can be brought about even from what seems a terminal illness.

Today, of course, it is widely appreciated that because of advances in medical knowledge, we can expect to live much longer than was reasonable at the beginning of the twentieth century. But we can lead lives that are not only longer but richer, more loving, and more productive. The next steps in stretching the limits of human health and longevity, I believe, will not be in biotechnology. They will come from learning to govern the way we think and feel. Detachment is a longevity skill. Freedom from compulsive emotional entanglements is the best insurance against stress. More than that, by opening a window onto a fuller, loftier view of life than that dictated by self interest, detachment brings a sense of purpose. Without a reason for living, the human being withers and dies inside. However paradoxical it may sound, it is detachment that enables us to give ourselves wholeheartedly to worthwhile work without ever getting depressed, despondent, or burned out – right into the last days of our lives.

Most people who work hard – which means most men and women in this country – bring their work home with them, yapping like a poodle at their heels. At the dinner table, when they sit thinking about their deadlines and responsibilities, the poodle is nestled under the chair, whining away. They curl up with it at night and dream about reports that haven’t been filed, statistics that don’t point to the right conclusions, mail that hasn’t been responded to or that has been sent out with the wrong memo attached. Detachment gives us the capacity to concentrate completely while on the job and to drop our work completely when we walk out the door.

A detached worker is a reliable worker, a cheerful worker, a harmonious worker. And when you can drop your work completely at the end of the day, you arrive home ready to give all your love to your family and friends. You feel fresh, relaxed. You have no need to give vent to the kind of frustration that millions of good people air: “Leave me alone. I’ve had a miserable day!” Mahatma Gandhi worked fifteen hours a day for fifty years for all of us who want a politically free world. When he was asked, “Don’t you want a vacation, Mr. Gandhi?” he said quietly, “I’m always on vacation.” It wasn’t a flippant reply; he meant every word of it. So don’t content yourself with two weeks in July or two weeks at a ski resort in January. You deserve three hundred and sixty-five days of vacation, and that is exactly what detachment can give you.

Non Violent Communication in Action.

Last evening, my 7 year old son, started crying and it was quite unusual for him, the crying continued and he became more and more agitated…. tears and words were flowing non stop. I had no idea what triggered the outburst, but there he was blaming everything and everyone – sister, friends, teachers, mother – the whole world was at fault. I stopped and sat with him and started listening to him, except that this time, I decided to put into practice what I was learning. I started listening to something deeper than the words, I was listening to the feelings and needs behind the outburst, without blaming and judging. It took him exactly three minutes to vent out and come out with the original need – all he wanted was a toy aeroplane and once he said that, the need disappeared and so did the crying.

It was a conversation, where I put the focus back on him and all I did was listen with all my heart – and it was exhilarating for me.

I was able to put into practice the process of receiving empathically.

Today morning, there was another difficult conversation that I was part of and I was so glad to handle it the way I did.

I am delighted to have stumbled upon Non Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg – In Marshall Rosenberg’s own words.

NVC is described as a process of communication or a language of compassion, but it is more than a process or language. On a deeper level, it is an ongoing reminder to keep our attention focussed on a place where we are more likely to get what we are seeking.

The difficult part of any conversation, more so when emotions are running high, when things are at stake, when our ego is pricked and wants to get even, is to hold ourselves back and listen. As Marshall says to keep the attention focussed. Easier said than done and this is where I think that the years of Sadhana (Meditation, Sudarshan Kriya) has helped me. So, what does receiving empathically means? Marshall summarizes:

“Empathy is a respectful understanding of what others are experiencing. We often have a strong urge to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own position or feeling. Empathy, however, calls upon us to empty our mind and listen to others with our whole being.

In NVC, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs and requests.

I wish I had learnt to communicate this way much earlier in my life. Why? Again to quote Marshall,

NVC helps us connect with each other and ourselves in a way that allows our natural compassion to flourish. It guides us to reframe the way we express ourselves and listen to others by focussing our consciousness on four areas: what we are observing, feeling, and needing, and what we are requesting to enrich our lives. NVC fosters deep listening, respect, and empathy and engenders a mutual desire to give from the heart. Some people use NVC to respond compassionately to themselves, some to create greater depth in their personal relationships, and still others to build effective relationships at work or in the political arena.

And I am seeing the results in action.

You can read more about NVC at their website.

If you have been practicing meditation, Sudarshan Kriya or any other allied techniques to still your mind, I think it becomes much easier to put NVC in practice. Go give it a spin.

Help!!

I had written about Asha and her story of running the  SVVN school, despite the innumerable number of challenges, in my previous posts (post 1 and post 2). A quick recap, the school currently serves the needs (educational as well as nutritional) of 305 children (153 boys and 152 girls) from the most underprivileged sections of the society in the neighbourhood. Asha, who is the coordinator of the school, reached out to me today morning with an SOS that read:

….are short of funds even for the day to day expenditure and the running of the school. We have the future and the lives of 305 children in our hands. Their studies, mid day meals and other developments has to continue

Of course no amount is too small, and any amount is accepted most gratefully

So, here I am, passing this request to all those who read this blog…….please be generous and donate whatever you would want to.

If you can help connect Asha with any of the corporates that would be great as well.

Asha can be reached at sreeveenavidyaniketan (at) gmail (dot) com

You never know

Via [Vedic Maths from FB]

You Never know
how And When
The Existence Will Start
Using You For Its Purpose

You Never Know
How And When
You Will Be Filled With
Abundance
And You Will Start Raining
Quenching The Thirst of Many

You Never Know
How And When
You Will Be Full Of
Fruits And Shade
And Travelers Will Take
Shelter And Food From You

You Never Know
How And When
You Will Be Full With
Love And Light
And You Will Start Spreading
The Fragrance of Beauty To Everyone

You Never Know
How And When
The Death Will Come
And Make You Deathless
And Life Will Start
Flowing Out Of You

You Never Know
How & When….Really !

~ Guruji…Sri Sri Ravi Shankar Ji

So are you happy?

Happened to bump into one of my ex colleague a couple of weeks back, it was about 4 in the evening and he was looking worn down, tired and exhausted. Long face and the worry lines all evident. During the course of an exact three minute conversation he turned around and said “……it has become even more hectic Raj, the clients have become more demanding…. and it is the same rat race”. The unhappiness was evident even without asking the utterly useless question, How are you?

How can one give one’s best to life when one is unhappy from within? How can you inspire people around you to give their best when you yourself are unhappy? How can you spread happiness at home, when you are unhappy most of your waking hours at work? As Gandhi said, our live is one indivisible whole.

It is no coincidence, that Guruji asks only one question to people whom he meets. “Are you happy?”

Today spent some time catching up with HBR blogs and came across this wonderful piece of conversation:

Qn:So are you happy?

Ans: As I am very aware how boring is to hear about other people being happy, I say only this: I get up every morning at 5a.m. simply because it is more exciting to start working than to turn around and sleep some more. I do seem to have a lot of energy.

says Stefan Sagmeister, a design studio owner who takes a year off from client work every seven years to boost his creativity. Gina Trapani has two interesting posts on taking a creative sabbatical at HBR blogs.

Go spend some time reading the posts, get inspired and be happy……and whatever you do…..spread the happiness.

If you are still feeling sad, depressed, unhappy, take some time out and connect with yourself at a much deeper level – start with the Art of Living Program. If you want to bring about a change in your workplace, the APEX program is the place to start by.

Leading Volunteers

Via [CharityFocus/Stanford GSB]

Many nonprofits suffer from a “faulty understanding” of the value of their volunteers and “faulty execution” in using them, said Robert T. Grimm Jr., director of research and policy development at the CNCS. Grimm and Washburn urged nonprofit leaders to “plug the holes in the leaky bucket” of volunteering.

But even as nonprofits need to rely more on volunteers amid the downturn, they fall short in managing this talent, the experts said. Consider this fact: more than one-third of people who donate their services drop out of organized volunteer work the following year. “It’s not necessarily because they had a bad experience, but a bland experience,” said Grimm.

Often, the organization undervalues its volunteers, asking them to stuff envelopes when they could be doing more skilled and mission-critical work such as fundraising, helping to write a business plan, or managing other volunteers. Nonprofits need to “change the paradigm” for what volunteers can do and “cast well” when matching a volunteer’s assignment with their talents and passions, added Grimm.

For those who are leading volunteers, Kent Blumberg had put together a great bunch of slides titled “Leading Volunteers”. He says give your volunteers these three gifts:

• Give them the Gift of Clear Direction: People respond to clear directions. We want to know what’s expected of us. We want to understand how our individual roles connect to the organization’s mission.
  • Be clear on what you expect from them: People need to know what’s expected. Leaders of volunteers are often reluctant to set expectations. They worry that volunteers will leave if too much is asked of them. In fact, just the opposite is the case. Ask too little of your volunteers and they will leave to find a more meaningful use of their time.

• Give them the gift of your support: Ask them to do what they do best and what they value. Make sure they have the resources to do great work. And let them know you care about them as people, not just as volunteer labor. Yep, that’s right. The more you care about them as the wonderful human beings they all are, the more supported they will feel.

• Give them the gift of recognition and reward: Ask for their opinions, advice and ideas. Give them encouragement. Give each volunteer a weekly dose of praise and recognition. “Every week?” you ask. Yes, each and every week. The Gallup Organization has found twelve key statements that correlate with high performance. One of those is the statement, “In the last seven days I have received recognition or praise for doing good work.” Gallup tested sentences without the time frame, or with a month, or two weeks or some other time. None of the other variations correlated with high performance the way weekly praise and recognition did.

Whether is for-profit or not-for-profit organizations, it ultimately boils down to one thing: How much do you love your people? And does your love show?

The Lazy Person’s guide to good health

You can still maintain good health as long as you:

1) Keep your bowels moving (keep your colon clean)

2) Keep your body moving (exercise regularly)

3) Keep your breath moving (always breath slow and deeply)

Source: Prakriti: Your Ayurvedic Constitution by Robert Svoboda

Self Knowledge is the only way to wipe out hatred

Head over to NYT and read the riveting first person account of the NYT journalist David Rohde who was kidnapped by Taliban and spent 7 months in captivity in Afghanistan and Pakistan.

This is exactly the reason why spiritual knowledge needs to go to every corner of this world.

Some extracts of what Sri Sri had to say about Terrorism

Narrow-mindedness or a limited perception is what creates terrorism. We have to broaden our vision. We have to take meditation and wisdom everywhere. Terrorism is in the mind. Through meditation, the mind can be transformed. Only meditation can bring this change.

At a conference in Sri Lanka recently, this is what he said:

As I was listening to our Honorable Minster of Health speak about mental well being, it came to my mind, you know the word for health in Sanskrit is SWASTHA that means one who is established in oneself, SWA means self STHA means one who is established in self, If you go to Bali island in Indonesia they greet you with OM SWASTHI RASTU – (may you have health), meaning well being, mental, physical, emotional, it includes everything, total well being.

In the east, as it was being earlier mentioned that 2500 years ago we have had this education, common masses, I would take it even further back 5110 years it was in Bhagvat Gita concept of well being, social well being is mentioned and even earlier Maharishi Patanjali made this whole treatise on yoga and how you can be happy physically, mentally and socially. If someone is obsessed with hatred, anger and jealousy they are not considered to be socially well, of course it is an ancient concept to have this mind which is a container of all knowledge, which is a container of intelligence, emotion and life force as such cleansed to keep it healthy and to get rid of this jealousy, hatred etc.

…..even if one small pocket of the planet is left uneducated about mental well being you are not in a safe world. Terrorism is one such example of extreme mental sickness. So, in this august meeting, we will all have to sit and think of how we can reach sanity to every nook and corner of the planet. One idea is to bring the spiritual knowledge, ancient knowledge we have in this part of the world, bring a more secular, scientific attitude or temperament so that spirituality is accepted by all sections of society. It has to be free from dogmas. Scientific and secular spirituality is what we need, that would give to the world a mind which is healthy which can take any stress or pressure that the modern society is posing in front of us.

and then in a talk in Tokyo a few days back:

Terrorism rises when a person says that their way is the only way. My way is the only way to God. Isn’t that so?

and in a talk in Israel recently, he said:

No other country is affected by terrorism as much as these two countries are, especially India. Every month in the last year there has been a terror attack. This is due to fanaticism and fundamentalism, which I feel can be quelled through educating children in a multicultural and multi-religious manner. When a child grows up thinking, “Only I go to heaven. Everybody else is going to hell,” they create a hell for everybody else.

So we need to change the mindset among children to embrace everyone with love. This is the effort we have been making irrespective of their religious and cultural backgrounds so the mind can become calm.

This Diwali, let’s light the lamp of compassion to serve others

[Guruji's talk on Diwali] For an oil lamp to burn, the wick has to be in the oil yet out of the oil. If the wick is drowned in oil, it cannot bring light. Life is like the wick of the lamp, you have to be in the world yet remain untouched by it. If you are drowned in the materialism of the world, you cannot bring joy and knowledge in your life. By being in the world, yet not drowning in the worldly aspect of it, we can be the light of joy and knowledge.

Diwali is the celebration of the light of wisdom thus born. It celebrates the victory of good over evil, light over darkness and knowledge over ignorance. Lights are lit on this day not just to decorate homes, but also to communicate this profound truth about life. Light the lamp of wisdom and love in every heart and bring a radiant smile on every face.

Every human being has some good qualities. And every lamp that you light is symbolic of this. Some people have forbearance, some have love, strength, generosity; others have the ability to unite people. The latent values in you are like a lamp. Don’t be satisfied with lighting just one lamp; light a thousand, for, you need to light many lights to dispel the darkness of ignorance. By lighting the lamp of wisdom in you and acquiring knowledge, you awaken all the facets of your being. When they are lit and awakened, it is Diwali.

Another profound symbolism is in the firecrackers. In life, you often become like a firecracker, waiting to explode with your pent-up emotions, frustration and anger. When you keep suppressing your emotions, cravings, aversions, hatred, it is bound to reach a bursting point. Bursting crackers is a psychological exercise created by the ancient people to release bottled-up emotions. When you see an explosion outside, you feel similar sensations within you as well. Along with the explosion, there is so much light. So when you let go these emotions, then serenity dawns.

Unless and until the pent-up emotions in you clear, you cannot experience the newness in you. Diwali means to be in the present, so drop the regrets of the past and the worries of the future and live in the moment.

There is another symbolism in the gift exchange and the distribution of sweets. Sweets and gifts exchange symbolise the dispelling of the bitterness of the past and renewal of friendship for the times to come.

Any celebration is incomplete without the spirit of seva (service); whatever we have received from the Divine we should share it with others – for, it is in giving that we receive. That is true celebration. Celebration also means dissolving all differences and basking in the glory of the atman. Everyone in society has to become wise. Happiness and wisdom have to spread and that can happen when all come together and celebrate in knowledge.

Diwali is a celebration to forget the bickering and negativities that have happened through the year. It is a time when you throw light on the wisdom you have gained and welcome a new beginning. When true wisdom dawns, it gives rise to celebration. Often in celebrations, you tend to lose focus or awareness. To maintain awareness in the midst of celebrations, the ancient rishis brought sacredness and puja (rituals) to every celebration. For the same reason, Diwali is also the time for Pujas. The spiritual aspects of Diwali add depth to the celebrations. Any celebration has to be spiritual, since a celebration without spirituality has no depth.

For the one who is not in knowledge, Diwali comes only once a year, but for the wise, Diwali is every moment and every day. This Diwali, celebrate with knowledge and take a sankalpa (intention) to serve humanity. Light the lamp of love in your heart; the lamp of abundance in your home; the lamp of compassion to serve others; the lamp of Knowledge to dispel the darkness of ignorance and the lamp of gratitude for the abundance that the Divine has bestowed on us.

Meditation, Success and Leadership

I wrote about Philip Broughton’s blog in a post couple of months back. I follow him on and off, today when I revisited his website, I was delighted to come across some of the articles that he has written for London Evening Standard on work/life balance. In his column titled Zen and Success at work, he writes:

One of the most prominent advocates of meditation is William George, a Harvard Business School professor and board member at Goldman Sachs. George started to meditate 35 years ago while running the medical devices firm Medtronic.

He calls meditation “the single best thing that happened to me in terms of my leadership”. He says that it “enables one to focus on what is really important; and I haven’t had high blood pressure since the Seventies”.

Pointing to the recent financial crisis, George told Bloomberg News: “I think meditation in these times has an important role to play.

“If you take Wall Street versus Warren Buffett, he has made much wiser decisions than Wall Street has.

Now, I don’t know if he’s a meditator, but he’s calm, thoughtful and he stays clear. Wall Street’s trading floor is exactly the opposite.”

Firms ranging from Apple to Google and organisations such as Nasa offer free meditation classes to their employees these days.

It is regarded by these firms as far more than Eastern quackery or a luxury like free cappuccinos.

Meditation not only helps focus but it is also an effective preventative treatment of stress-related illnesses that cost businesses billions every year.

Google has held regular meditation sessions at its offices around the world for the past two years.

As someone who has been practicing Yoga, Meditation and Sudarshan Kriya for nearly a decade now, I can vouch for the effectiveness of the practices.